If you’re a self-improvement nerd, then you can relate to the pain of personal growth.
It sucks, plain and simple.
It’s so uncomfortable, and when you look at people who aren’t trying to improve themselves, you feel worse because they all look so free and happy.
But not for long. Soon, their growth muscles will atrophy from lack of use, and they’ll feel stuck.
It’s always better to be in pain from growth than to be comfortable and stay where you are.
In this post, I’ll dive deeper into why personal growth is so painful and how to make it hurt less.
Table of Contents
5 Reasons Why Personal Growth Is So Painful
1. You Have to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Personal growth requires getting very uncomfortable. You have to ditch old habits and routines and make new ones.
And the brain hates discomfort — it wants us to stay where we are, where it’s safe and easy.
But you have to push through and fight that instinct of the brain, which is scary.
2. You Have to Stay Committed
Just like a relationship requires a commitment to take it to the next level, so does your personal growth.
Personal growth is a lifelong journey — and whether your goals are to get fitter or make more passive income, it’s going to take time.
And you must be committed for the long haul if you want results.
To stay committed, break your goals into habits.
For example, stop looking at your goal of losing 20 pounds as a mammoth task and break it down into tiny changes instead, like going grocery shopping for fresh fruit and veggies once a week, meal prepping on a Sunday, and walking for 20 minutes a day.
It’s easier to commit to a task when it’s simple.
3. The Results Don’t Come Overnight
Personal growth is not a destination — it’s a very long journey. People give up because they don’t have the patience to wait for the results.
They want to see massive changes fast, and this instant gratification attitude is prevalent amongst the millennial and Gen Z generations.
We want our food delivered as soon as we order, a video to be downloaded instantly, and the Amazon delivery guy to show up as soon as we checkout.
This attitude is ruining us because most of what matters, or most of what is worth achieving, takes time.
You plant, then harvest, and then you reap your rewards.
4. It’s Unconventional
Personal growth is untraditional. It’s a popular concept, but only a few actually walk the path.
Also, your vision might not be understood by everyone else. I’ve realized that’s okay — not everyone is supposed to see what you see.
I have family and friends who have very traditional career paths — some are doctors, engineers, nurses, and teachers.
They follow a routine work schedule, they get paid the same rate every month, and they follow this lifestyle for years.
No one understands my writer/blogger lifestyle. In fact, most of them don’t even know what I do as a freelancer. That makes my journey harder.
But as terrifying and painful as it is, it’s also gratifying in a way nothing else is. It’s freeing to be the one who’s brave enough to break a mold.
5. You’re Afraid of Failure
One of the biggest reasons there’s so much pain in growth is because, deep down, we’re scared to fail.
We think, “What if the thing I’m working so hard for crumbles?”
But isn’t it better to try and fail than not try and wake up 10 years later and wonder, “If I had tried one more time, would I have succeeded?”
Plus, failure is the best way to test an idea and your commitment to it. It also thickens your skin and makes it easier to keep trying new things until you find what works for you.
5 Ways to Trick Your Brain Into Making Personal Growth Easy
1. Keep Your Habits and Routines Simple
Break your goals down into tiny habits to make them easier to achieve.
It’s human nature to feel overwhelmed when looking at a big plan — and this leads to procrastination and laziness.
Jeff Olson, the author of The Slight Edge, highlights the importance of setting small daily habits that are repeated over time. This uses the power of compounding. Over time, those habits stack up, and without even realizing it, you’re a step closer to achieving your goals.
2. Celebrate All Your Achievements
Don’t wait for the end result to celebrate your achievements.
You aren’t who you were a day, week, month, or year ago. Recognize that progress and be proud of yourself.
3. Strike a Balance
Personal growth is crucial to living a fulfilled life, but what’s more important is living a balanced life of growth and rest.
Even an Olympic athlete rests. They train and then take a break to heal their muscles and recharge so they can come back stronger.
The same applies to your growth journey. From experience, if you don’t schedule rest, your body will force you to take a break in the form of burnout (which isn’t fun at all.)
4. Remember That You Are a Brave Risk-Taker
Most people aren’t improving — they’re stuck in the same rut. This is because society has condoned certain “conventions or rules,” and people are afraid of doing something new.
For example, do the same job for 40 years, marry somebody when you turn 25, have 2.5 kids at 31, and retire at 60.
But if you’re on the path to personal growth — that means you’re doing something unconventional. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to pursue something different!
5. Follow the Right People or Have a Mentor
Following the right role models or having a mentor will inspire you and make the journey easier.
If I didn’t follow bloggers and freelance writers, I would’ve given up a long time ago. They make me feel like I’m not alone and that if they could do it, I can too.
Final Thoughts
Growing pains are the best kind of pain. Eventually, you’ll become used to it, and the pain of never moving forward will be harsher to experience.
I wish you all the best on your journey!
Here are some other posts on personal growth:
- 7 Actions to Take When You’ve Lost Your Spirit and Love for Life
- How Cheap Dopamine Is Unraveling Your Life: What You Can Do to Stop It