When asked to define success, many default to societal norms — wealth, status, and material possessions.
But is a six-figure salary or corner office truly what success means to you? For most, upon deeper reflection, the answer is no.
We get trapped in chasing someone else’s vision of achievement because it’s all we’ve been exposed to. Without creating a personal definition, we measure ourselves against arbitrary markers, often feeling disappointed in not reaching an ideal that wasn’t even our own.
Defining success requires deep self-reflection to reveal what matters most to you. Do you value freedom over finances? Family time over fame? By customizing your success definition based on your priorities and passions, you can live life on your terms.
When you create an authentic definition instead of accepting the standard, you become empowered. You gain clarity in decision-making because choices either move you toward or away from your version of achievement. You ditch the envy, frustration, and self-judgment that comes with measuring yourself by another yardstick.
In this article, I’ll walk through why a customized definition of success is crucial and steps for crafting your own. It’s time to create your own compass.
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Why You Should Create Your Own Definition of Success
You should create your own definition of success because success means something different for everyone.
When you base your idea of success on someone else’s definition, you end up living a life that doesn’t truly belong to you. You spend your time and energy trying to meet goals that may not actually align with your values and interests.
Defining success on your own terms allows you to feel empowered and in control of your life path. You become focused on goals that matter to you and do work you find meaningful.
Your definition also protects you from feeling disappointed when you don’t match up to society’s generic markers of achievement. Instead, you have the freedom to decide what constitutes success for you.
When I was younger, I adopted my family’s definition of success. Around me, I saw people buying cars, getting big corporate jobs, and marrying by 25. Today, I regard those things with mild amusement. My definition is a complete 360-degree shift from what the societal definition of success ought to be.
My definition of success is having peace of mind, writing for a living and as a hobby, taking care of my parents, nurturing my body and mind, and doing what makes my soul sing, even if my bank account is crying in pain.
A lot of people in my family and friend circle regard me as a joke, but the joke’s really on them because I’ve never been happier.
Related Post: 13 Things That Stop You from Achieving Your Goals
How to Define Success for Yourself
1. Reflect On Your Core Values
Defining success starts with understanding what matters most to you deep down. What gets you fired up? What beliefs form the moral compass by which you make decisions?
Your core values are the foundation for personal success.
Take intentional time for self-reflection — I’d suggest at least 30 minutes of journaling to dig deep. Ask yourself open, probing questions without refining them at first:
Here are some questions to reflect on:
- What unique strengths, talents, and passions set your spirit on fire? When are you in your zone, doing activities where time melts away? Make a quick list of endeavors where you lose yourself in joyful focus. And circle the common threads between them.
- Who am I five years from today? Picture how you treat loved ones, spend time, and the work you do. How can you describe this future best version of you?
- What daily work and routines make you feel fully recharged, motivated, and proud of your efforts? It could be launching a startup, raising a family, or creating art — get very detailed here in imagining scenarios.
Now comes the reflection part: Review your answers and any notes, highlighting phrases that resonate. Let themes bubble up based on recurring motifs like service, adventure, creativity, leadership, and spirituality. Cluster these into 5-8 core values that feel integral to you.
When your daily lifestyle aligns with your core values, that’s when you feel expanded by joy and purpose — that’s when you know you’ve reached your pinnacle of success.
Related Post: 70 Introspective Journal Prompts to Find Your Purpose
2. Envision Your Ideal Future Self
This activity taps into your imagination to vividly envision what ultimate success feels and looks like in your daily life.
Find a quiet space to close your eyes and take some deep cleansing breaths to relax. Ground yourself by focusing on the sensation of air filling your lungs.
Now, allow your mind to fast forward five years into the future. Picture your ideal scenic backdrop — perhaps it’s a high-rise apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows in a bustling city, a charming cottage nestled in the woods, or a van winding along coastal roads. Make this vista crisp and real, and think about the sights, smells, and sounds that surround you.
Also, visualize the meaningful relationships and connections you have cultivated. Who is frequently around your table, by your side, or on speed dial to catch up with?
Next, see yourself confidently moving through your daily routine. Maybe you wake up at sunrise for meditation then squeeze in a surf session before work. Or you stroll from your home office to have lunch with your family every day rather than a conventional job. Perhaps you’re racing from one exotic country to the next as a travel writer. In what activities do you feel joy, wonder, and purpose?
Pay attention to how this future self thinks, speaks, and carries herself…what mindset empowers the person you have become? Do words like freedom, contribution, leadership, and tranquility come to mind when considering this best version of you five years from now?
The details unveiled in this visualization exercise will confirm what daily conditions allow you to feel successful according to your soul’s compass.
3. Tune Out External Voices
You’ll have to mute the outside noise as you shape your success definition. This is because society, media, friends, and family will all have opinions on what constitutes a well-lived life.
The culturally-approved checklist is almost predictable — status, money, power, assets. And it’s amplified everywhere by people projecting what worked for them…or what they wish they had.
But the truth is that no one else can decide a fulfilling life path for you. Their well-meaning voices may not come from wisdom or experience, and they simply highlight the common default definition that just doesn’t resonate with you.
So, how do you tune out external voices? By making a fierce commitment to your internal voice.
Always return to your core values, envisioned future self, and soul-guided intuition. Stay grounded in trusting your inner wisdom — no one knows you like you do.
4. Identify Possible Regrets
This reflective activity brings much-needed motivation by revealing what you’d regret not doing if only given one year left to live. Sound intense? It is — and that’s the point.
Your mortality puts priorities into stark relief — separating what society dictates from what your soul craves. After all, you can’t take promotions, properties, or your resume to the grave.
Find a quiet space to visualize your hypothetical one-year life expectancy announcement. What initially arises? Grief, anger, longing for more time, relief to pursue passions?
Now shift to journaling using the below prompts:
- I wish I had…
- If only I spent more time…
- I regret missing my chance to…
- My passion for…will go unfulfilled
- I wish I had told people how much I…
Don’t second-guess or edit your words, just keep writing what bubbles up as you reflect. Look for patterns about relationships, adventures, contributions, and dreams left unseen.
Then, circle the 3-5 boldest regrets that resonate most deeply with you. These are the top priorities that you must take action on now — no more waiting, no more excuses.
Because the sobering reality is that one day, your time will run out. And when that day comes, will you have courageously pursued a life purpose that leaves you feeling proud? Or will you collapse under the weight of regret about what might have been?
5. Draw Inspiration From Others
While no one else can actually define success for you, looking at how others have done so can provide a helpful perspective.
For example, read interviews with thought leaders about their definitions:
- “Success means becoming the person I was born to be — fulfilling my potential.”
- “Being successful is about serving others with my gifts to make the world better.”
- “For me, being successful means having complete freedom to pursue whatever inspires me.”
- “I define success by spiritual enlightenment and living peacefully without attachment.”
- “Success is about balance — thriving in all areas of life simultaneously.”
Which aspects ignite your spirit or align with your thoughts and emotions? Do certain perspectives make you feel drained or deflated? Take notes on what specific definitions or components ring true for your life.
Related Post: 15 Life Purpose Examples That Will Motivate You to Create Your Own
6. Allow Your Definition to Evolve
Be gentle with yourself in your reflection process — insight comes gradually. And your understanding of success will deepen and even transform over time as you grow and change.
What energizes your spirit today may feel constricting during major life transitions:
- As passions and priorities shift with age
- When starting or expanding a family
- Overcoming hardships
- With changes in health, career, or location
So, expect your definition to progress through chapters, much like you evolve through life stages.
Make checking in with your version of success an annual or bi-annual milestone. Clear space to tune out other opinions and listen inward.
What resonates with your values today? What regrets or longings arose recently to address now? How has your ideal version of yourself expanded?
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Final Thoughts
When you create an authentic success definition instead of accepting the standard path, you take back control. You gain empowerment in pursuing aspirations that light you up along the journey — not just at some distant finish line.
So how will you define success on your own terms? What first step will you take today? I hope the insights within this article spark you to fearlessly craft your own compass.